Friday, July 3, 2009 ; 4:27 AM?
SMILE(:
I have to say, i really do regret what i did, i know, even if i say it a million times, nothing is going to change, but still, i have to say it, i dont know why and i dont know how. i really have no idea why i was like that. I always tot i treated you fairly good, but no, look at all the sms, how many were happy ones? More of them were me finding fault with you. And that is stupid stupid stupid.
Your sms to me are always those that will make me happy, but mine to you is more of a finding fault kind. Every morning i wake up regretting everything, it has been so long, though i still know how you're doing through friends, i still miss you. I dont know why why why im in this state now. Every morning i look at my phone, asking myself, how great will it be if nothing had changed, i'll be able to sms you.
How great will that be.
If time could go back, things wont have gone this way, cause im deeeply sorry.
6Months seen we last saw each other face to face.
Just the other day we walked passed each other and i said hi, you replied me with a smile. Its just like in secondary sch. Everything have changed. But im still glad that i saw you, im just happy.
Just how much i hope for time to turn back and i would be able to save it.. without damaging it in the 1st place.
Everything will be so wonderful. Im sorry i didnt give you enough understanding, being irritating all the time.
Sorry for not being there when you need me, instead, i give u unnecessary problems and made you unhappy.
It's all because of me. You did so much for me.
The most impt thing in a relationship is understanding and trust.
But i failed. It is very stupid of me to say everything now i know.
But there is no other way i can get this feeling out of me, people will be reading and laughing at me for sure, but i dont care. I dont care how people thing of me anymore. It's their problem, not mine.
I looked up ARCHIVES of your blog, it made me want to cry out loud to you.
I have caused way too much trouble for you and i dont realised it. You've tried so hard.
I know it is way too late now. I keep reminding myself that its too late too late too late.
But i dont know why im still holding on to that slim hope.
I've been an irritating freak for all i know.
Look at my ARCHIVES, i feel like a fool.
What the hell were i doing.
It's plain dumb.
How can i forgive myself?
There's so much more i want to say.
Im treating this post as a letter to you, i know you're not going to read it or whatsoever but well.
I really regret losing you and everything. If i were given a chance, i want you to know that it will be nothing close to what had happened ok?
I miss listening to songs with you, thats for sure.
You cared so much abt me. I didnt treasure it.
There is nothing i can do nowwwwww to make up. That is just so sad.
But if ever there is a slight chance, you know im not going to let it slip by.
I should have listened to you. I really hope to see you soon. SYS.
<3 LU,MU,WU,NU
Now,i shall study for maths.
16(:
